Lately, their have been a few events in the media that have really bothered me.
Bullying.
4 CHILDREN have committed suicide in 3 weeks because of it.
Let me tell you a story about a small town in Northern California and someone who used to live there.
Now from the outside looking in, this small town doesn’t look too bad. You know, a few good grocery stores,a church of some sort on every corner, two JR. High Schools, and at the time only ONE High School. Needless to say, everyone knew one another and if you didn’t it was easy to figure it out.
There was a girl who lived there with her family. Her family did not grow up there, and how they ended up there? Who knows.
Anyway. Going through elementary school wasn’t too bad, until about the third grade. This is when the “track system” for schools came into play and she had the worst 3rd grade teacher in the history of time, one would call her “a bully”(until she showed up at the girl’s house delivering pizza from the local pizza joint, she seemed to chill out a little after that). This little girl hated school from week 2 of the third grade until the end of high school. Not only because of the teacher, but this is when kids started to show their true colors, and survival of the fittest came into play. Yep, 3rd grade.
The little girl would think of about 75% of the students”I would get into so much trouble if I spoke like that to ANYONE” when another kid, like one of the athletes would make fun of her for wanting to play with them. They just laughed at her, didn’t offer to help her learn… they just made fun of her, bullied her. She was afraid to tell the teacher because she figured it was no hope, she just would have taken their side.
This story goes through until about the 6th grade. Then in this small town, after you graduate the 6th grade you enter “middle school”.
Talk about a change for the worse. The girl absolutely hated the middle school and the people that went there. She had a best friend that decided that she wasn’t going to be best friends with her anymore, the little girl just wasn’t “cool enough” and the other little girl had plans of popularity that couldn’t be botched. She tried finding friends, she found a few good people, but she still didn’t think that she would ever have a “best friend” in middle school and she was right. This is when she kind of figured out that she was different. And of course, different is the devil….
The girl never went to Roller King (the popular hangout), she never really went to parties, she was busy doing other things, bettering herself OUTSIDE of school. This is where she would meet some of her best friends ever, OUTSIDE of school. Then in the final year of “middle school” she was on a team. She didn’t really care that she was on the team. She was excited that she was still involved with school, but hated that it made her a bigger target. You might as well have dressed her up in a red dress with silver sequins, because this girl was not ignored, heavens no… but she was made fun of repeatedly… and cried at least twice a week.
High school rolled around… The first year of high school wasn’t too bad, actually… she was pretty much invisible for the rest of the world and she was OK with that, she would have wanted to be involved more in school activities, but she was always made fun of, she was different, she had creative ideas… But this is when she saw the “Bully Mafia”…
What the hell do you do when your WHOLE TOWN is ran by Bullies?
Again, this girl’s family was NOT from this small town. Her mom went to high school 20 miles south of it and her dad was from the east coast. So her family was no where near being important enough in the town.
That being said. There are about 7 “families” that are “related” you know, the prom queen and quarterback, and their “in crowd” from the 60s got married and had babies. The friends kids married, then there kids married.. blah blah blah, (and if you weren’t part of a “family”, you were part of an athletic team) it seems like one entire family tree of popular, mean spirited BULLIES and in-crowd incest. These are the people that are Boosters, They are at all small town events, they go to CHURCH on Sunday… They put on a FRONT for the papers, but everyone who is NOT in the “Bully Mafia” know.
The girl BEGGED her parents that she go to private school, change schools, be home schooled.. ANYTHING. The girl ended up being on anti-depressants for most of her Senior Year.. She took 4 pills a day because she hated school and the people so much. Her dad had to call her in the middle of the day , everyday to remind her to take a pill, just so she would stop the thoughts of wanting to kill herself because the people and atmosphere were so terrible.
She felt alone.
The comments about school activities, her nose, her clothes, her height, all took a toll, but the one thing that took a toll that she hated the most but would not ever change… She stood up for herself. It seemed that the biggest target is that she stood up for what she believed in, she stood up to the people who seemed to be abused by the same system she was. Only they didn’t fight back. At the end of the day, the girl had other things to worry about. But she will forever remember the HELL that the “Bully Mafia” put her through in 4th period and lunchtime every day of her life for 3 years.
The girl looks back at her life now, and its a sense of amusement that she can go back to her hometown in a very expensive car, have more connections and hook ups than anyone in her hometown could even dream of, choreographed shows on the strip in las vegas, a few international touring shows, some Disney stuff. Danced around the world in more shows that she can count, and has more friends than she could ever imagine.
I was never in a fight, but the words have left a scar.
I know I’m not a LGBT, But I do support them, and I think everyone deserves the right to be themselves.
I do know that bullying sucks. I know that it can make a person feel hollow.
Bullying needs to stop. It starts at home. Take a look at yourself. Talk to your kids. Tell them it is always safe to talk to an adult, whether its a family member, teacher, doctor or friend.
Take a look at the people you love the most and know that you would stand up for them, no matter what the circumstances.
Thats all for now.
Katie Kenner.
October 1, 2010 at 5:20 am |
Katie,
That was the most amazing story i’ve ever read. That girl and I seem to have a ton in common, school was the worst experience for me and just like her i’m alive, some what successful and a stronger more accepting person because of it.
Thank You
October 6, 2010 at 8:49 am |
This was a very well written post and on a very important subject. I currently live in Japan, and the sad truth is that suicide among elementary to high-school students due to bullying is a very common story in the news here. And just because it is common, doesn’t make it any easier to read or understand each time it happens.
Much speculation, investigation, persecution takes place when one adult kills another here in Japan, but when a child dies due to a bullying environment, it is swept under the rug so the school is to not lose face.
October 6, 2010 at 2:23 pm |
My [real name] at Facebook account is a friend of [your husband's name] at Facebook.
I would very much like to translate this into Japanese and promote/publish, with your consent.
Bullying in this country, Japan, is/has been an epidemic for years and years…as miserable as it sounds, I think the U.S. is just starting to notice a trend in youths that we’ve, over here, have kept hushed about for too long.
You’ve got, or should, my e-mail address.
Let me know, or not.
Ciao.
October 12, 2010 at 6:50 am |
You may post and publish this however you see fit.
Katie
March 6, 2011 at 3:15 am |
This is so true
I was bullied from the 3rd to the 6th grade, then I started to rebel. 7th and 8th grade the bullying stopped, merely because I was an outcast, a rebellious child. I had a friend who rebelled with me, who was exactly like me back then, and is now in rehab for drug use. He ODd twice, doesn’t go to school, and was arrested 4 times.
Luckily for me, a switch to a different high school brought me away from him, and brought a very positive change in my life, although I did walk around depressed for most of my Freshman year. Now almost done with my Sophomore year, thankfully I have friends and am much much happier now, I can look back and direct most of the problems directly at that third grade class.
Bullying truly does start at a very early age. How I survived without getting into drugs, alchohol, or violence, like my friend, is beyond me. I can only assume that things like magic kept me off the streets.
But the fact that bullying starts at a young age, and can escalate to incredible heights, is not only true, but it MUST be stopped.
Enough said. Lets put our words into actions.
June 24, 2011 at 2:50 am |
Very interesing to learn the facts about bullying in Japan. And the post was very impacting. I am the author of a book that deals with bullying and the screenwriter for the movie version to be out this fall. Check out http://www.thefatboychronicles.com I would like to hear your comments on what we are doing to help fight bullying.